the [this] plague is ok

i lay my body across the bed
reading the work of a man whom i do not know
i read a sentence
a sentence and a half
and see something
it's nothing
although i must do a double take
along my arm
a black ball rises
tempting me
but it is gone

i look, i examine
my arm is not harmed
it is normal
typical
it is ok

i read more
i try to understand
what is this creation
what is occurring
this thing, this feeling
something is flowing within me
somethings wants out
something terrifying

i look at my arm yet again
it is there this time
not out of the corner of my eye
no double takes
it is there in the flesh
it is there in my flesh

it's forcing it's way out
it's taking control
but i like it
i want it to take over
the blackness covers me
not a little black bubble anymore
more like the plague
overwhelming my body
my arm is completely dark
the soot colored substance reaching it's peak level along my skin

i place the booklet across my arm
ever fascinated by my churning colors
yet too disturbed by the writing to put that away
or is it the other way around
am i fascinated by the writing of this being
and disturbed by my needed appendage
either way i must focus on both

my head starts to ache
not hurt as if a migraine
but ache as if someone trying it's way out
it twitches
my head
as i rub my hand at it

now my arm feels it
it feels the ache
the ache is spreading with touch
and the booklet fuses into my limb
it's melts into me
the letters , the words, imprinting along my arm

my arm completely dark now
black as the soul
with the shimmering silver words gleaming outwards

i continue to read on

the skin ruptures
but i do not bleed
bleeding does not exist here
it is not allowed anymore
but the skin peels back anyways
the bone protruding
i do not feel it's pain either
but the bone climbs out
it's many legs pushing it up
the crevice turning to nothing
as the creature leaves it's soft shell behind

i am not reading anymore
i do not need to read anymore
at least, not the words that i was trying to take in
we must always read
but not this, not this
this is infused within me
i know it, i love it

the ache from my arm disappears
but it is not gone forever
just as the plague that invades my head
is not gone forever
it will be back soon
the creature will be back soon
but it will take the form of another
as my right arm is severed
laying on the bed next to me
next to the booklet that i was reading
next to my pillows, my sheets, my blankets

my right hand twitches
i reach up to itch my forehead
i reach for my glass of water
i reach for my book
once a being, left all on it's own
the right arm, my right arm, is not alone
it's still with me
it's never alone
it never leaves me
the bones only ache at times
the skin comes off
the creatures attack my thoughts
and my thoughts in turn attack you

but for now
it is all ok

smile back, and float on

i caress your body
as we tumble into my room
 giggling sweetly
not knowing what is about to occur

i pelt you with little kisses
soft kisses
deep kisses
rough kisses

the kisses start cute
but quickly turn quite powerful

i thrust you down upon my bed
and lay myself on top
not gently anymore
but almost forceful
although you do not seem to mind

you wrap your legs around my waist
vigorously gripping at my hair
patting, pulling, ripping out little bits
but i do not seem to mind

i sense a danger
but i stow it away
for even though i notice your clothes
melting into your body
your naked beauty distracts me, astounds me

i run my hands over every inch of you
leaving bloodied finger prints stamped everywhere

my eyes dart to yours
drawing me into this web of lust
as you rip right through my shirt
scattering it's remains about the room

as the passion grows
the danger is more obvious
but i cannot see it
for i love it

my fingertips have opened up now
as exposed wounds
leaking across your crevices

the pains seers my hands

your eyes, now black as night
overcome me
i feel no more pain
even as the scars appear along my body
they scab up, then begin to open
almost as if the gashes were un-healing
wounds in reverse

my body quivers with anticipation
as you roll over and pin me on my back
my pain does not hurt
the pain is not there
non-existent
even though with my own eyes i witness
my body draining

i can feel us flying
i can feel my existence floating
my being, as light as a feather now
i can feel your smile on my face
i can taste my blood on your lips
every time you press your lips to mine
and i can't help but smile back
and i can't help but smile back,
and float on

my hollow eyes

my hollow eyes stare at you
they blink
your perfect eyes stare at me
you blink

you wouldn't know it
but i am sobbing
lacking tears streaming down my face
as you could never love me

for my eyes are gone
non-existant
but not in the normal way
in the ever abnormal way

the holes delve into my head
like portals
portals to the darkest regions of life
hideous

i once read that the eyes are the gateway to the soul
so do you see my soul
my blackness
corrupted by humanity?

my hollow eyes stare into yours
even without them i can still see
you ever loving being
you are exquisite

your glorious eyes, glorious soul
look at me
they blink and stare
but ever lovingly

i don't understand
i don't get it
how could such a divine creature
love a soulless being as I

you reach out and lightly grasp my hand
as the pits of darkness on my head wince
I am not used to the touch of love
I am not used to kindness
but you are ever so caring
you love me
I do not know why
but I see it in your eyes, I see them in your eyes
even though I know only bleakness exists
I see the reflection of my big brown eyes within yours

the wonder and beauty of Sacrifice

I stand here staring
at this image frozen in time

the drunkard aiming the gun
pointing at the woman,
the innocence whose name unbeknownst to me
screaming, her terrified expression stuck

and the bullet
that one single devastating creation of man

I walk from the man to the woman
following the path of the bullet

her stomach
it will penetrate her stomach,
her bodily organs
she will die, painfully

this will hurt
but it must be done

I stand in front of her
gazing into her eyes
beautiful beyond the terrified expression
beautiful even with the terrified expression
the beauty not just physical
but the soulful beauty within her essence
makes the pain easier to endure

I step behind this amazing creature
so strong, so brave
whom will grow to do wondrous things
and sink my claws into her shoulder blades

her blood pours onto my hands
dark, deep
but the pain that I leave with her
is nothing, will be nothing
for that which it could have been

my soul moves close to her
moves into her
my being filling every inch of her body
until we are one

my wings protrude from the wounds on her back
just as life starts again

the man's eyes wild with anger
the woman's scream pierces the air
and the bullet pierces us
though as it passes through her, unharmed
it buries itself deep within me

my eyes begin to water from the pain
yet I smile, for she lives

the man drops his gun
as he sees my wings along her body
he thinks a miracle, an angel
and then they are gone as I fall to my knees
invisible
and I clatter to the ground just as the gun

I cry now
not from the pain
no the pain had to be felt
even though unbearable
no, I cry now
from the wonder and beauty of Sacrifice

vengeance is blind

there she was, once more
blessing me with her being

her short black hair
never looking "fixed" nor "prettied up"
her pale skin, pail lips
never once with once drop of makeup
her natural look
her natural beauty
always sends me to shivers
body and heart quaking

and her eyes
her eyes
a deep red, a blood red
filled with passion, lust

I bow before her as she steps forward
"get up" she whispers with a smirk

each step she takes
leaves a dark feathered trail
and a bloodied print
in the shape of her naked foot
never her blood,
though,
always that of the guilty

I stand up, face to face with serenity
she stares, smiling
each second she stares is another second I fall in love
I gaze back until my love is too much
I look away, clutching my chest firmly
My love for her burns with such a destructive force

"good" she says, her lips never moving
her smile fades away
her expression serious
"use that passion," she breathes into my thoughts,
"to finish it."

I nod slowly and reach
my fingers grip the crudely crafted blade
that has appeared in the grass
"I will always be with you"
she states, solemnly
and as I raise up to stand
she was gone

but not forever
as she stays within my heart
I feel her with me
even as I step into the unknown house
I feel her presence kiss my soul
even as I start to cut them
I do not remember who, why
All I know is what I feel

The love within
as hot as the boiling blood soaking me
I love her
I will always love her

And with that, I stop seeing
my sight is gone
but I don't need it to see my act of violence
my salvation
for as the saying, "love is blind"
so the saying goes for Vengeance

all that is left is your red cloak

I am finally in love
all my years
and I've finally found my love
our bodies so close
we touch just barely
our hands interlocked

I grip you tight, your perfect hand,
as we sit in the corner
feeling your body warmth
the warmth in the air, your aroma
and the warmth seeping along the ground

I gnaw at my unfinished supper
I offer you some
but you just sit and ignore
sit and stare
not into the distance
not into the present
you just stare at Death's sullen eyes

I squeeze your hand tighter
and try to tell you how I feel
but I choke up
my words are stuck in my throat
in my heart
I try but try is all I do

I wish I could cuddle you
to show you more affection
than that of a simple hand holding
but your body is already
all gone devoured, or bubbling up in the leftover soup
all that is left is your red cloak
which I wear
to remind me of your smell
to remind me of the beauty of love
and your hand
which I clasp once more
before bagging for a midnight snack